“Nothing” is the motto here. There’s no tennis, no TV, not even a phone. Located on a strip of beach in nowhere, Puerto Rico, this four-acre haven is dedicated to the sweet, slothful life. It also happens to be one of the most elite spots in the Caribbean.
The Horned Dorset is tastefully Spanish colonial—all adobe and white with tiled floors—and all rooms but four have an ocean view. The new super-luxe Casa Escondadia suites are just that but somehow lack the charm of the old buildings. The best room, however, is Villa 19 which is original to the property and, like the Casa Escondadia suites, sports its own private plunge pool.
In the mornings tropical fruits and freshly baked breads are brought to your room. Days are spent on the beach or by the pool. In the evening the library is a popular spot and napping ranks among the most popular activities. Remember, there’s no phone, so there’s no room service. Leave a sign on the door if you want ice for your mini bar—for anything else, you’ll have to walk.
Do try to take someone. The same qualities that make Horned Dorset a perfect place for lovers can be devastating to those who come alone. People are not here to socialize, so your chances of making friends are few. In fact Meryl Streep, who came to be alone a la Greta Garbo, attracted so little attention that she became quite chatty after a few days—so unless you are the type who really relishes the solitary life, you may find yourself itchy after two days, insane after four.
The one social activity is dinner, when silver cutlery is laid on white tablecloths, and chef Aaron Ratten, of Daniel and Aureole, is allowed to star. Dress appropriately—after all, those who frequent Horned Dorset are the cream of jetsetters (with everyday social schedules so crammed that nothingness is the only luxury left). You might want to hurry, though, as the resort is adding rooms as we speak, and it’s already compromised itself by building a fitness center. Surely a golf course and scuba classes can’t be too far behind.
From San Juan International airport, Horned Dorset is a two hour drive. From San Juan, take Expressway #22 (west) to its end where you will yield into road #2 (west) towards Mayaguez. Drive on #2 all the way to Anasco. In Anasco take route #402 to your right. Follow #402 all the way to route #115. Make a right on #115. Drive on #115 1/2 mile and you will come pass the restaurants El Coche, El Rafael and Kaplash, located on your left. After the restaurants you will turn left on route #429. Drive on #429 1/2 mile and you will see El Quijote to your left. 1/8 mile after the hotel will be located to your left on km 3.0 on #429. Look to see a black iron fence with a Relais & Chateaux emblem and a guardhouse next to it.
Route 429, kilometer 3.0, Rincon
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